Now Playing: Oasis - Stand By Me

Friday & Saturday were really major screwups for me. Except for times when I'm with RWJ ( :

Friday was 1 day I would totally just choose to erase from my life. And I was feeling damn shit because shooting really made me feel totally shit. And I was really thinking about the point that everything I was involved in was never gonna work out. Then it was like everything happened already and I couldn't even comfort myself by thinking 'How I wish I could restart the day' because if you ask me, I'd rather not repeat the day. In fact, I was really happy that the shit was over, although I was sad that it happened too. So, can you imagine that shit feeling. Totally sucks.

Then after that met RWJ and I was happy after crying the shit out of me and sleeping to make up for the loss of sleep I had the night before due to I-don't-know-what. So we crazily went jamming at Boat Quay from 11.30 to 12.30am. We were all really tired but apparently, redbull made them not tired. And I still think that redbull is gross ( : But jamming was good ( : Then my mum totally spoilt that freaking day, just when I thought all the freaking shit was over. Then it reminded me of the shooting shit. And I really wasn't living in peace from 12.30 to 4.30am. Except when I wasn't at home yet. I felt like a freaking useless piece of shit. But when I woke up in the morning I felt much better, although it was a really empty kind of happiness. But still. ( : Then we went for audits and we did quite well :D A little screwups here & there, but we were still good! :D So we went to Central at Boat Quay to eat lunch. ( : Then we went to the very nice TCC to drink coffee and talk ( : It was really nice ( : And we kept singing Misery Business :D Then we went to town to shop & sit around. Then Jermaine came and we looked around awhile then went to subway. So we decided to jam from 8 to 9 cause all of us hand itchy, except fatgirl. Haha, but my mum told me to reach home by 9. I was like, what the. So I told her 10. But I reached home at 11. I know it was somehow my fault. But going back at 10 during holidays is really totally no life. Especially when I have extra lessons & NP stuffs the next whole freaking week. And then we're leaving for Portugal & Spain from Saturday until 19 June. Although it's nice, but that's like almost the whole holidays you know. So I must live life to the fullest while I can, right right? And so we sat outside my house to talk until 12 plus ( : And I cold war-ed with my mum until this morning.

The thing that makes me feel the most shit is that my parents didn't know about the shooting shit, cause I didn't wanna talk about it and I didn't wanna tell them since they didn't really ask also. And due to their ignorance, they happily screwed up my day even more. I hate it when I have suicidal thoughts. It's really crazy, but it's true. As in I will never commit suicide, definitely. But when I have suicidal thoughts, it's really bad. Cause it's a sign that I really feel like the biggest shit on the world and I just wanna disappear.

But I'm happy that I spent so much time with RWJ these few days and ultimate happy that all the disgusting experiences are over :D

2 days felt like 2 long years.

And anyway, HAPPY BIRTHDAY CHOUYUN! :D

12:13 PM

3Faith <3

But that's disregard
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