i have successfully spent 4 days stoning at home =DD except for going out a little at night la. but that is at night. lol and its nowhere far. everyday the same =/ actually i think although this four days were quite boring, but i had fun photoshop-ing at home. and msning. and blogging and trying very hard to finish my homework. i don't know. staying at home is supposed to be NO LIFE. but why do i feel happier than normal? or rather more contented =DD maybe cause i finally have time to think and put my life back into one piece. cause i really didn't like the empty feeling. seriously, feeling empty is what i'm most afraid of =/ haha. so now i'm not empty! i like it =DD oh well, but i think i better go out soon, cuz i really can't stand the beautiful scenery of my house anymore. haha. i'm losing touch with the outside world! haha. hmm.. but where to go? i don't know. maybe i should try spending hols alone for once? NONONO. wrong choice. i can't live without people around me la. everytime like from school to home ALONE i feel odd. haha. cause i'm seriously not used to nobody beside to talk. haha. i really can't live without talking. seriously. and then my mp3 is the only way of survival. haha i LOOOOVVVEEE my mp3 =DD now i'm starting to realize that the june holidays are here! i don't know why. but i think i'm seriously weird. cause everytime there's like a holiday or something i will be rejoicing the minute i know it's gonna happen. but i always forget after some time. and after i realize again. i get really happy. and it's really not acting. i really always feel that way. i wonder if others get that feeling too =/ haha. maybe i'm really REALLY weird. lol. anw i've spent 4 days at home doing everything i want, except for practising my piano, and finishing my homework. haha. seriously i'm not a piano person usually. maybe alot of people find that weird. but only when i get like seriously sad or i suddenly get in love with playing piano, then i love it ALOT. haha. but usually the piano's just there. haha. but seriously when you're sad, it's good to play the piano, cause you realize many things about yourself too. maybe it's not because i don't like piano. but because i like it too much that i don't like to play at home. cause everytime i'm at home, i feel like everyone can hear me playing and i really don't like that feeling. like i told you, i'm weird. lol. cause i have a feeling that everytime somebody hears me playing the piano, then they realize how much i'm bleeding inside. seriously despite the usual nonsensical me, i'm always thinking about something inside me. and most of the time, it's sad stuff. then i don't have anybody to tell, cause it's like really sometimes not to be known by other people. maybe some very selfish, or jealous thoughts. i don't know. but don't ask me what it is anyway! haha. i won't tell you! haha. anw i think people that like playing piano are seriously somehow sad inside. haha. but don't worry, on the whole i'm still VERY happy and hyper =DD don't think i'm like this very emo person or something (although sometimes i am la) but not usually! haha okay. so you all better don't eavesdrop when i'm playing the piano! LOL.

9:37 PM

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