lalala. now i'm home and i'm bored. debra's house was damn boring today. cuz there was no more dance prac? so sad )): but i wanna study hard next term. i feel bad that all my grades are dropping. or rather i feel stupid. haha. today had 3rd class drills test in np in the morning. it was quite okay la. cuz today muster parade i didn't get promoted so no need to memorize the format for receiving the shit rank =DD anw they gave a 10 minute break to neaten up our uni before they checked. lalala. first time they so time wasting, give us 10 minutes. lol ((: so after that was the drills test nothing much. and i went off early at 11 ^^ so i changed our of np clothes, den i went to the carpark. and i found out that my mum couldn't fetch! i thought i was going to be late, so i walked damn fast down, took a bus that appeared the minute i reached the busstop, den went into the crowded mrt. took until dhoby ghaut den sat the train to hougang. i don't know why but i was damn sad. i kept leaning everywhere i could, then i kept thinking about everything, and actually i don't know what everything is. but i was just thinking into blank space, but when i think of it i'm sad. and i never ever had this feeling before. throughout the whole mrt ride to hougang, there was this couple sitting opposite me. then they keep staring at me, cuz i duno why la. i looked damn sad i guess. usually when strangers that look nice look at me i will smile one la. but when they looked at me i saw them, but i looked down with a very disappointed look la. i just don't know why. but i felt the wierdness in myself =/ then somemore i was listening to mp3 then i wanted to find 'bad day' or 'the middle' cuz i like these two songs den the lyrics very meaningful. and maybe after hearing i wouldn't feel so bad. den i realized i didn't upload. i was so......SAD ): so i listened to like other songs, then i don't know why but i suddenly felt like crying, then i was like leaning on the side thing, meddling with my stuffs, den my tears almost like came out. but i realized it was quite embarrassing cuz the couple opposite kept looking. den if i cry, they'll be like WTH? so reached hougang den i walked out of the mrt station, den i realized i walk the wrong way, den have to turn one big round if not i duno how to walk, and i was damn pissed with myself la. i kept saying f*** to myself, i seriously wanted to punch the wall, but i was alone, i couldn't do all those stuffs. then after that i finally found the right way, so i walk walk walk den reached debra's house. den bathed and changed and we were late! during the pre-prelims and prelims i wasn't very sad la. saw ruishan and mer and kw =DD all the silent destiny ppl. but i felt weird =/ hai. i think my life is damn screwed up now. i wanna go in to my room and cry! but my bro wants to use the com, and i promised i would let him use already! i don't like ppl to know that i'm crying. but now i'm just like stuck in my own mixed feelings, i feel bad, sad, disappointed, irritated, and i miss my primary school simple life )': i feel empty AGAIN. i need to stay home for one week ): and think about what i should do now. i think i seriously suck la ):

you said you'll be there for me whenever i needed you, now my world's going down and down, and i'm falling, yet i don't see you anywhere near. i need you, i miss you..

9:44 PM

3Faith <3

But that's disregard
Find another friend & you discard.

Always, always & forever.
kw <3
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For the love.
deb
lianjie
You're the best I ever had.
geraldine!
janice!
jiayin!
karon!
karchian!
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steph!
sus!
yanlin!
zhizhi!
3FAITH, Ultimate Love <3
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